Passive aggressive Witch

baltharus:

I don’t curse people, I bless everyone around them.

(Reblogged from nikerymis)

lsunnyc:

I want a sci-fi encounter where the alien species has nothing akin to “sleep”, and it’s baffling.

And I don’t mean that as in it’s a Science Officer or Medical personnel either, but like a rookie navigator or intern weapons operative who’s making their first inter-planetary trip and going to work WITH HUMANS not just via telecommunications or stuff but like IN THE FLESH and is so stoked.

They get this feeling a few weeks into their mission or what-have you that they’re missing a big piece of the puzzle like, there are a LOT of humans on this ship, but xe didn’t realize it before because “all humans look alike” but hey no that’s definitely not the same maintenance officer who was handling the proton cores six hours ago what the fuck. Xe gets time off to rest and eat and be social (which is so hard with humans because they’re pheromone detectors are so weak and nnnngh) and then goes back to work in time to see them switching??? why do you have two people do the same job what???

Why do you keep opening your mouth like that at me is this a dominance stance are you insulting me I’m so confused oh my gosh

It’s not in the fucking manual holy shit Xe is so screwed coffee and laughter and hygiene are all included what the fuck

but it’s gotta be simple and easy and not hard but how do you ask your superiors you’re the rookie gosh this is not working out.

Finally little Rookie Alien makes a human “friend”, and knows then they go off duty for food and such so knowing that human is off work Xe waits until they’re off work too and goes to their compartment number and the computer lets them in

"I apologize for disturbing you, Ensign, but I… Ensign?"

Ensign is sitting at their computer, lights blipping, there’s a half-finished maintenance report flashing on the screen and a communication device is tossed on the floor and the Rookie says their name again softly and NO RESPONSE AND

OH

MY

ANKDJNDLNAIND  SOUND THE ALARM RED ALERT LOCK DOWN PROTOCOL THERE’S A MURDERER THE ENSIGN IS DEAD I REPEAT THEY- HOLY DECARBONATION VECTORS YOU’RE ALIVE IT’S A MIRACLE why are you displaying aggression markers at me there are security officers no do not shout i is small podling i make mistake…

(Reblogged from riptidepublishing)
Writers don’t write from experience, though many are resistant to admit that they don’t. I want to be clear about this. If you wrote from experience, you’d get maybe one book, maybe three poems. Writers write from empathy.

Nikki Giovanni (via word-spinning)

if I wrote only from experience everything would be about being stuck at bus stations in Eastern European countries and yelling at teenagers to be quiet.

(via meetcute-s)

(Source: amandaonwriting)

(Reblogged from rachelhaimowitz)

(Source: thor-cat)

(Reblogged from odnson)
silicon-avatar:

I’ll just leave this here.

silicon-avatar:

I’ll just leave this here.

(Source: wesley-crusher)

(Reblogged from odnson)

fandoms-are-my-one-true-love:

All my favorite Harry Potter bad lip reading gifs I have collected 

(Reblogged from delightful-horror)

white-aster:

murdorito:

windows7virus:

bookrat:

One of my hens attempted to crow this morning.

I didn’t realize it at the time. No, my immediate assumption was that something was brutally murdering one of my birds. I rushed to the rescue only to find the yard conspicuously empty of threats, but I didn’t relax until that awful rasping caw came again from my right.

Here she is compared to another black bantam I got at the same time as her. Her comb and wattles are huge, but I just kinda disregarded it because those two aren’t the same breed even though they’re similar looking. Shouldn’t have, that comb is almost rooster-sized regardless of breed differences.

Just wanted to share, I figured Tumblr would get a kick out of a non-binary chicken.

Years ago I had something similar happen. In the early spring a batch of mixed breed chicks hatched (all I can remember is that they were 1/4 silkie) as the months passed and the chicks grew and their sex characteristics developed, all hens… sort of.

One bird, a petite black hen, started crowing, by the fall she was crowing just as well and often as the roosters we kept in the coop. But it didn’t stop there. During the winter I noticed this hen exclusively roosting with other hens, not that odd, but then one day I saw her mounting them.

When we let them out off the coop to free-range in the spring she had a small harem of other hens. They would follow her, “mate” with her, and only roost next to her, and, if a rooster antagonized her or her harem, she would spar with him (not always successfully). 

So remember, if anyone tries to explain away non-binary identities with a “Natural Order of Things” argument, flap aggressively at him and try to stab him with your leg spurs.  

nonbinary chickens are pretty common! Reason #89574897345 why I fucking love chickens.

"So remember, if anyone tries to explain away non-binary identities with a “Natural Order of Things” argument, flap aggressively at him and try to stab him with your leg spurs." 

<3  :D

(Reblogged from seananmcguire)
What doesn’t kill me should run, because now I’m fucking pissed
(Reblogged from seananmcguire)

teenifies:

macintush:

"It’s pronounced like jif"

Yeah well I don’t gif a fuck

 

(Reblogged from salnolatte)

nanyoky:

I want to write an alternative version of Romeo and Juliet where instead of being a little ponce and trying to work things out for himself, Romeo asks his smarter friends what to do about the whole thing and Benvolio and Mercutio come up with the world’s greatest plan:

Marriage of convenience between Juliet and Mercutio.

Think about it.

Juliet’s parents want her to marry into the Prince’s family. Mercutio is a good compromise between no marriage and Paris.

Mercutio probably won’t get his inheritance if he keeps being HELLA FUCKING GAY ALL OVER THE PLACE so a beard is only a benefit to him.

They would probably get along great rolling their eyes at how adorably stupid Romeo is.

Romeo and Benvolio could get a “bachelor pad” right next to Juliet and Mercutio’s house. Every night, Romeo and Mercutio high five as they hop the fence to go bang their one true love.

The second half of the play is just all of them trying to keep up the charade and being “THIS CLOSE” to getting caught all the time. But everything ends nicely because true love conquers all.

Everybody wins. Nobody dies.

(Reblogged from seananmcguire)